There goes Backpageman, the best there ever was.

by Backpageman on October 13, 2009

Every great athlete goes through this. And Backpageman is no different. One day, and there’s no explaining when or why, the passion is gone. There’s a little less joy in seeing A-Rod flayed in 64-point type, a little less pleasure in savoring the perfectly-turned Meet the Mess pun. If you ever played high school sports, it’s like that day, late in your senior year, when you snap your towel against another man’s nubile buttocks and think, “eh, I’m over this.”

I always vowed that when I lost my love of the game, I’d walk away. So here I go. No, no, don’t cry. Don’t plead. Be strong. It’s for the best. Thanks to the Heroes, the Swamis, the Tomorrow’s Backpage Dancers. Thanks to Doris from Rego Park, Joe Beningo, to anyone who’s ever dreamed of pointing to the sky and thanking Jesus for a touchdown. Thanks to Tom E, James S, the Fedora and everyone who clicked on the ads on this site, whoever you are. I started out as a boy with a computer and a little hate in his heart and you made my dreams come true. You really did. Okay, here I go, Nation. Here I go.

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Sending It Up To Manny

by Backpageman on May 7, 2009

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Your Backpages: May 7, 2009

by Backpageman on May 7, 2009

Last night was a malaise-buster for ol’ Backpageman. Is the Great Santana the best fighter pilot we’ve seen on deck in a long time or what? Throw in the fact that the Mets never score for the bastard and every time he pitches it feels like a tightrope act. I mean, Chan Ho Park was throwing a no-hitter. Chan Ho Park. And, I must say, inspired work from the Troika today. Love the sub-head in the Post. POKE VS COKE DOOMS YANKS. And also love JOE THE BUMMER. Best Joe the Plumber wordplay I’ve seen since the great Patriot’s trip to Israel. (For the record, I hear it’s impossible to find a plumber in the Gaza Strip.) Here they are…. Your Backpages…

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A word from the wilderness

by Backpageman on May 6, 2009

Greetings, Nation. It’s not often that Backpageman puts down the pipe and speaks from the heart. The truth is, over the past few weeks I’ve been feeling a little like Brett Favre, the Hamlet in the helmet. (Well, Brett Favre in December. Not Brett Favre in May. Can you believe that fucker is trying to come back again? Go. Away.)

I’ve just been bored by sports in general and by the Mets in particular. (I’ve been calling it my Metlife crisis.) Don’t get me wrong. I still put on the games. But I get little pleasure from it. And I’ve started to think about all the hours I’ve wasted watching. I mean, do I really expect something wise and interesting to come out of that huge head of Ramon Castro’s in a post-game interview?

Is this — I shudder at the thought — a sign of maturity? Is this a cumulative effect of having lived through too many seasons? Or perhaps it’s just the dead-arm period that a lot of Backpagemen go through. I’m not sure. I’ll keep you posted….

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Your Backpages: May 6, 2009

by Backpageman on May 6, 2009

Oh, how fickle they are! The very Backpages who literally ran St. Joe out of town are now waxing nostalgic about the great man with the toasted Subway sandwich. A handful of losses to the Sox in April. Is that all it takes?  Say it aint so. By the way, Backpageman caught a bit of the Yanks-Sox game last night. These Yankee relievers. Who are these guys?  And, while we’re at it, the Yankees are supposed to be the gold standard for all of baseball to emulate. Come on, YES network, is Ken Singleton really the best you can do? He’s the most boring announcer I can recally since the soporifically snoozy Don Sutton on TBS. It’s baseball man, wake up! Here they are… Your Backpages…

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Your Backpages: May 5, 2008

by Backpageman on May 6, 2009

Post and News stay up late and lead with the Yanks loss. As for Newsday, they were already elbows deep in a plate of wings at the Hempstead Turnpike Hooters when the Yankee game ended. Backpageman can’t say he blames then. Yanks-Sox. 19 times a year. Yawn. Your backpages….

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Your weekend wrap: May 2, 3 & 4, 2009

by Backpageman on May 4, 2009

Has the worm turned, Nation?  Of the last 18 backpages, the Mets have claimed but one. Does the Mets April ineptitude signal a return to the days of yore when the Mets were clearly the second division team? To put this into context, there have been more hockey than Metropolitan backpages over thats same period. That’s hard to do. Please don’t stare at their bitch tits…. Your Backpages

May 4, 2009

May 3, 2009

May 2, 2009

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Your Backpages: May 1, 2009

by Backpageman on May 1, 2009

Ever wonder what it would be like to live in a one-team town? With the Mets off, the Troika gives us a taste. Three similar stories, three similar pictures and three bad milk puns. Think GOT MELK was close to getting wood? Without a doubt. Pass the cookies…. Your Backpages…

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Sending It Up to Keith Hernandez’s mustache

by Backpageman on April 30, 2009

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Your Backpages: April 30, 2009

by Backpageman on April 30, 2009

Sadly, Nation, it wasn’t meant to be. Several heroes came in fast and hard with the no-brainer, WHAT A PUTZ! Yet, the Troika resisted. (The Post has a subhead, KA-PUTZ.) But alas this is TomorrowsBackpage.com and not ASubheadOnTomorrowsBackpage.com. So, no Swamis again. The turban slump is getting serious now. Is it a pandemic? Nearly so. Your Backpages…

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A-Rod + Cigar = Gold, Jerry, Gold