From the category archives:

Hall of Swamis

And Your Backpages: September 29, 2008

by Backpageman on September 29, 2008

The Troika all go the same way. Tears from Met fans on the front page, distraught-looking Mets on the Backpage. Backpageman doesn’t have much to add but this anecdote. An hour or two after this most brutal loss, Backpageman was driving around, looking for a parking spot. I put on WFAN — figuring the Post-game was over and the Schmoozer would be on talking Met nation off the ledge. Instead I hear Howie Rose imploring the Shea faithful to “Welcome Head Groundskeeper Pete Flynn and his family!” Eff you. Well, sometimes the Backpages write themselves and the Heroes were on it. Tom E takes two with CRYIN’ SHEAME and SHEA IT AIN’T SO and the Fedora takes one for SHEA IT AIN’T SO. Give them a hug today… Your Backpages…

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An Your Backpages: September 28, 2008

by Backpageman on September 28, 2008

Backpageman isn’t sure who put in a better performance: Johan or you, the Heroes. Hall of Fame performances from across Backpage Nation. JO GOTTA BELIEVE! PRAYERS YOHAN-SWERED. SEASON SHEA-VING! JO DA MAN! But, as good as they were, only one nailed it. You guessed it. The G.O.A.T., Tom E. With SHEA-VIOR. That’s back-to-back Swami Turbans and #13 for the pride of the Bronx/Manhattan. Wow. Here they are, on short rest… Your Backpages…

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And Your Backpages: September 26, 2008

by Backpageman on September 26, 2008

Oh! What a night for those Metropolitans — and Backpage Nation. The Mets battled and battled and finally, in dramatic fashion, beat those pesky Iowa Cubs. Lou’s B-team didn’t dampen the spirits of our A-team. You! The Heroes of TomorrowsBackpage.com. RING THE BEL! WILD TIE. RAIN MEN. SUPER SOAKER. BEL-LIEVE! All good, but wrong guesses. A special rain-soaked tip of the Swami Turban to The Fedora who snags his second with WET & WILD. They would never suspend their campaign… Your Backpages…

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And Your Backpages: September 25, 2008

by Backpageman on September 25, 2008

Backpageman is not going to lie. That one hurt. Really hurt. With the Mets on the brink of their best win of the year, they choked. Badly. And turned it into their worst loss of the year. And all those fist-pumping Backpages dancing around the heads of the Heroes of Backpage Nation. DAN THE MAN. MURPHY’S LAW. YES! Turned into anger and disappointment. CHOKE. EFFIN TERRIBLE! IT’S CALLED A SACRIFICE FLY. And perhaps most painful of all, Tommy the Swami, a Yankee man, takes advantage of a cool head to snag his 11th Swami Turban with WHAT A WASTE. Finally, a special Welcome to Backpage Nation to Backpageman’s brother, The Midshipman, who proves that the art of Backpageology is not an innate gift with his premature guess of MVP! for Delgado’s slam. They may need a hug today… Your Backpages…

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And Your Backpages: September 19, 2008

by Backpageman on September 19, 2008

The Mets win over the Nats dominates the Troika. And the Heroes were on it. Rising Swami Stewart K nabs a coveted Post Backpage for his third Swami Turban with BATTERY POWERED. The News clearly tuned out early as the Met bullpen made it interesting — hardly your traditional laugher. And Newsday reached once more into its shallow bag of cliches and pulled out the uninspired CAPITAL GAIN.

Finally, for those Metropolitan conspiracy theorists who love to tell me our beloved Backpages are Yankee partisans, here is yet more evidence that the Backpages, if anything, are fair weather fans, the newspaper equivalent of Jeter girls. (A Jeter girl is a woman, usually young, often hot, who is a “die hard Yankee fan” (usually since ‘96), who you always end up seeing on the train going to the game in her brand new Jeter jersey, often with a pack of other Jeter girls. As a Backpageologist and a sports nerd, you want to hate her, but, because she’s kinda hot, you give her a pass. Which makes you hate yourself just a little bit more.) They were for it before they were against it… Your Backpages…

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And Your Backpages: September 10, 2008

by Backpageman on September 10, 2008

As Backpageman predicted here and here, the Mets owned the Backpages. True story: After the Met game last night, Backpageman turned to Backpagewoman and said, it’s going to be something dumb, like M-V-P. And just as the sun rises over Montauk and sets over Floral Park, Newsday came through with M-V-P. But, alas, since it was not officially submitted, Backpageman must deny Backpageman a Swami Turban. Sorry, Backpageman. No such bad luck for two like-minded Backpageologists. Stewart K of Livingston, NJ grabs his his first Swami Turban and James S of St. Charles, Illinois grabs his sixth. Both with M-V-P! A historic day at TomorrowsBackpage.com was followed by a historic night, with aspiring Swamis guessing from the BX to Australia. Here they are… tough guys with tender skin… fresh from the Shave Zone… Your Backpages…

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The Swami Standings Are Up

by Backpageman on September 8, 2008

If you’re a Backpageologist, chances are you’re huge sports nerd. If you’re old enough to remember such things, you were once obsessed with Strat-O-Matic baseball (and Dave Winfield’s -5 throwing arm) or Micro League Baseball on the Commodore 64, and the magnificent stats it kept! So as much as we play for the love of the Backpage game, we also love to keep score. Of everything. In fact, 6 out of 10 Backpageologists are also card-carrying members of the Sabermetrics Society. So, alas, you’ll notice that the Swami standings now appear in the sidebar. Scroll down to see Tom E’s dominance.

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And Your Backpages: September 6, 2008

by Backpageman on September 6, 2008

As some of you may recall from my Backpageology ‘07 keynote address , “The Backpages: A Fickle Friend In a Friendless World,” the Backpages are always ready to throw you under the proverbial bus. As I said that magical day in the New Caanan Marriot, if the Backpages were a person they’d be that always-complaining, never-satisfied fair-weather friend who loves to tell you just how wrong you were.The kind of friend who, no matter how hard you try, always tells you your ass looks fat in those jeans. So alas, the Mets, who have owned the Fightin Phils this year, lost a game and got the 48-point shiv from the Trokia. And the great Tom E, who always has a finger on the pulse, knew just what they’d say. NOT AGAIN! That’s the 10th Turban for the 2-sport Swami. Here they are. Backpages you can believe in!

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And Your Backpages: September 5, 2008

by Backpageman on September 5, 2008

A super win by the Super Bowl champs can only mean one thing: Some super Backpages. Both the Post and the News went with the predictable — and predicted — SUPER START. After many, many guesses, The Fedora outwits the seemingly unoutwittable Tom E to take his first Swami Turban. Welcome aboard, Fedora. And chalk up another Swami Turban for the formidable James S of St. Charles, Illinois. Finally, a promise. Backpageman will not give in to any sports challenge, no matter how daunting. Backpageman will serve you, the Heroes, nobly and with honor. And Backpageman will honor the culture of Backpageology… As always, BACKPAGES FIRST…

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And Your Backpages: September 4, 2008

by Backpageman on September 4, 2008

A turning of the proverbial season cycle on the Backpages, and, yes, Heroes, our work will only get harder. The summer Backpage game is more or less Yankees v. Mets, but, come fall, football and basketball vie for their taste of tabloid glory. What about hockey, you say? Don’t get me started. The Post and News go the Jint scene setter route, while Newsday features the Met day game victory. Backpageman is really getting the idea that whenever the Newsday pros can wrap it up early and head over to the Olive Garden for an endless pasta bowl, they do it. Hey, there you’re family and can you really blame them? Finally, the great Tom E of the Bronx has once again channeled his inner Massapequa with BREW HA-HA. You are the master, Tom. Are they fair or are they foul? Check the instant replay. Your Backpages…

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Backpages are fickle bitches, ain't they?