From the monthly archives:

April 2009

Sending It Up to Keith Hernandez’s mustache

by Backpageman on April 30, 2009


Your Backpages: April 30, 2009

by Backpageman on April 30, 2009

Sadly, Nation, it wasn’t meant to be. Several heroes came in fast and hard with the no-brainer, WHAT A PUTZ! Yet, the Troika resisted. (The Post has a subhead, KA-PUTZ.) But alas this is and not So, no Swamis again. The turban slump is getting serious now. Is it a pandemic? Nearly so. Your Backpages…


Sending It Up to Henrik Lundqvist

by Backpageman on April 29, 2009

At least King Henrik had the good sense to let in the series-losing goal with five minutes left, giving his subjects a little time to come to terms with their disappointment. Martin Broduer, on the other hand, let up the tying goal with just a minute and a half to go, and the losing goal just fifty seconds later. Good thing there aren’t any Devils fans. Could this be payback for lighting the lamp with his sister-in-law?


Your Backpages: April 29, 2009

by Backpageman on April 29, 2009

Question: What’s the bigger story? Two of the local three hockey teams lose a decisive game seven by one goal in the last few minutes of the game. OR, the Yankees beat Detroit in April? If you said hockey, you should move to Canada, or at least vote for the America-hating Democrat party. Your Backpages…


Your Backpages: April 28, 2009

by Backpageman on April 28, 2009

Backpageman loves days like this.  The Post and News did just what you’d expect by going negative with a CC story. (They even used the same picture.)  While Newsday — the much-maligned third paper — goes with something both rare and beautiful. Something that has never been done before (and probably will never be done again.) An Omir Santos Backpage! Omir freakin Santos! By the way, shouldn’t it be Omar and not Omir? Omir just sounds middle eastern, or as we patriots like to say, democratic. Could Omir be a terrorist in the ultimate disguise…. a catcher’s mask! And — and this is the greatest part — what is Omir doing? Sending it up. Backpage Nation stands in awe, Newsday. Well-done….


It’s a Wrap Weekend Wrap-Up: April 25, 26, 27 2009

by Backpageman on April 27, 2009

Hola! Backpage Nation. is, above all, a meritocracy. You gotta earn your place here, and, of course, kiss the ring from time to time. Last week we debuted the It’s a Wrap Weekend Wrap, celebrating the wraps, smoothies and juices from South Orange, New Jersey’s It’s a Wrap. And, as you would expect, when Backpageman blessed this humble establishment, the Nation showed up in full force. Backpageologists do love their hummus! So, I reached out to Kirk and Rosalyn, the proprietors of It’s a Wrap, informing them of the Nation’s love –and to get my taste.  How did they respond? They didn’t. Nada. No respect. Know what? Sorry, Kirk and Rosalyn. You’ve been whacked. So, please, give a warm Backpage Nation Welcome to It’s a Wrap of Burbank, California, the only company on the planet that offers the general public the opportunity to purchase actual wardrobe and props from movie and TV sets! (Be sure to check out their amazing collection of props from Star Trek, Titus and Nation favorite Charmed starring Mrs. Carl Pavano!

As for the Backpages, some solid stuff and one missed opportunity. The Yanks dominated Saturday with their Mo Woes. The Jets owned Sunday. (Tip of the turban to the Fedora with the DIRTY SANCHEZ entry. Not sure this town is ready for that.) And the Yanks dominated Monday too. Only 16 more can’t-miss games between these two rivals. Viva, Backpage-ah! Your Backpages….

Monday, April 27, 2009

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Saturday, April 25, 2009


Your Backpages: April 24, 2009

by Backpageman on April 24, 2009

News and Newsday pile on the hapless Metroplitans. The Post, after giving Jerry the shiv for 2 days, lays off and tries to stir something up with Joba and the Janks going to Boston for some weekend teabagging. There, just like that…. Your Backpages… 


Your Backpages: April 23, 2009

by Backpageman on April 23, 2009

Do you ever wonder how Backpageman does it? In the breakdown yesterday, I wrote the Post “likes nothing better than failure in general, and Metropolitan failure in particular.  Thus the Mets — or Mess — take it.” And what do we have today? That old chestnut AMAZIN’ MESS. (I guess even they were too ashamed to do MEET THE MESS. Again.) Yesterday, I also wrote: “The News is a Yankee paper, the print version of Al-Yankazeera.” And what takes it today? Yanks. Yawn, And finally, I wrote that Newsday “likes to wrap it up early and beat the traffic home.” So, rather than wait for the Mets to finish, they go with America’s fifth favorite sport, right behind the WNBA, hockey. Here they are, cozier than a Snuggie… Your Backpages….


Your Backpages: April 22, 2009

by Backpageman on April 22, 2009

Murph and the Mets take the Post. Andy “Power for Living” Petitte and the Yanks take the News and Newsday. Backpageman will break it down for our new players. The Post, the purest of the Troika, goes with the better — or worse — story. And they like nothing better than failure in general, and Metropolitan failure in particular.  Thus the Mets — or Mess — take it. The News is a Yankee paper, the print version of Al-Yankazeera. And Newsday, they’re just lazy. They like to wrap it up early and beat the traffic home. Thus, the Yankee game, which ended an hour and a half before the Met game, took the day.

Special welcome tip of the swami turban to a budding Backpagoelogist from NPR. Guess they let him take a break from making lattes and handing out lapel pins to venture a guess. Could this be Backpageman’s in on his lifelong dream of a segment on NPR’s On The Media with Brooke Gladstone? Perhaps they can squeeze me in between a 9-minute segment on the Pakistani Pennysaver and a 12-minute debate between four dusty academics arguing who is the greater American hero: Bill Moyers or Jim Lehrer. They’ve never had an erection that has lasted for four hours…. Your Backpages… 


Sending It Up to Sheff

by Backpageman on April 21, 2009

Most people say Sheff’s a jerk, a me-first, clubhouse cancer best avoided. Backpageman doesn’t buy it. How does he know? Easy. When he hit his 500th, he knew just what to do: He sent it up. Backpageman sends it up to Sheff for sending it up to Jesus.


Heavy lies the crown